Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Apparently, girls only like crossbows, staffs and blades. Who knew?

So I've been giving thoughts to the idea of "toys for boys and girls" for a few weeks ago. Today I picked up the Transformer Airachnid and something struck me then. Ever notice that toy action figures of females always have them come with bows or staffs or some kind of close arms combat thing, or if they came with a firearm, it was always like a small pistol or something "their delicate hands can handle". Never bazookas or machine guns or whatever? I get it for toys "meant for girls" like My Little Pony (sorry Bronies) isn't going to have Fluttershy come with Anthrax Grenade Launchers. (Though that WOULD be awesome!) But like even G.I.Joe does this too. Lady Jaye came with a javelin launcher, Scarlett with a crossbow, Jinx had swords and a staff, Zarana had some saw blade thingie, Cover Girl didn't even COME with a weapon. And these women are military! The Baroness came with a rifle, but you know... She's a terrorist. When they do come with actual firearms, it's usually pistols or something small, but never anything impressive, like something you'd see Major Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell hauling around. (Which sadly, GitS isn't a toy, because it would have been a freakin' amazing toy line.)

Even Transformers weren't immune to this. If they came with weapons at all, they were usually one of the above types. (crossbows, spears, bladed weapons, ect.) Blackarachnia came with crossbows and blades (or projectiles that looked like crossbows) and the same goes for Arcee... With the one exception of the recent Prime toy who came with a giant ass cannon. But that's one out of several toys of her. (Seriously, they're alien robots that can traverse the galaxy, and they're still using crossbows?) Override had a double barreled blaster, but she was originally a "he" in Japan. Thunderblast had a missile launcher, and Strika that, while she comes with a set of shoulder cannons... Once again... They're evil bad girls.

Same for Superheroes. The warrior women, Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl gets a sword, lasso and/or mace, while peaceful Superman, who's more powerful than any weapon, gets an atmosphere destroying missile launcher. I've lost track of how many Batmans, who HATES firearms, came with some type of projectile weapon. Harley Quinn gets a comically giant ass gun, but we all know there's just a flag in there that says bang. (And then shoots the flag like an arrow. Another goddamned arrow launcher.) Poison Ivy got a crossbow too. (Though she had one in the show, so I'll let that slide.) Teela and Cheetara got staffs, while Man-At-Arms and Panthro gets to drive around in tanks and shoot heavy blasters. Black Widow gets wrist stingers and a pair of .45s as opposed to something more powerful. (Unlike the Punisher, who gets an entire arsenal.) Jill Valentine, fighting zombies, usually gets some sort of small sub-machine gun and knife. All the Princess Leia toys came with some tiny ass blaster, with exception of the Slave Leia one, where she came with some giant ass Skiff Guard staff. (ANOTHER staff.) April O'Neil get's a camera. Hell, Venus the Ninja Turtle didn't even get a sword or staff. She got a fucking fan.

It's understandable if it's a universe like Xena or Zelda where more powerful weaponry isn't the norm. But this is kinda silly. So what? Girls don't like to see shit blow shit up like guys do?

Yeah... I know way too many of you to know that ain't true.

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